To Be Clear Is To Be Kind

It’s been years since I first read Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead, yet one line continues to echo in my mind long after finishing it:

“To be clear is to be kind. To be unclear is to be unkind.”

It’s a simple truth; but one that so many leaders, myself included, have had to learn the hard way.

We often pride ourselves on being empathetic and supportive.

We soften our words to spare someone’s feelings, delay difficult conversations in the hope things will improve, or offer vague feedback because we don’t want to sound harsh. Our intentions are good, we think we’re being kind.

But when we aren’t clear, we aren’t kind at all.

 The Cost of Unclear Leadership

I’ve witnessed leadership styles where hard conversations are avoided and constructive feedback is withheld.

What starts as an effort to “keep the peace” often leads to confusion, frustration, and disengagement.

When expectations aren’t clear, people fill in the blanks themselves. Small misunderstandings grow into performance issues, and by the time concerns are finally raised, the situation has often escalated.

What could have been a simple coaching conversation becomes a formal process, or worse, an ending that could have been avoided.

Unclear communication erodes trust and slows progress. It creates uncertainty, lowers confidence, and leaves teams guessing what success looks like. Ambiguity feels safe in the moment, but it’s a false safety net. It’s not compassion, it’s avoidance.

 Clarity Is a Form of Respect

Clear communication is not cold or cruel; it’s respectful. It says, “I care enough to be honest with you.”

Clarity gives people the information and confidence they need to do their best work. It empowers them to take ownership, make decisions, and grow. A kind leader isn’t one who shields others from discomfort, but one who delivers honesty with empathy.

As leaders, our role is to build the scaffolding around our people - the structure, support, and environment that allows them to thrive. That scaffolding begins with communication: clear expectations, transparent decisions, and timely feedback. It’s what gives teams stability and the confidence to perform at their best.

 The Leadership Shift

If we want our teams and businesses to thrive, clarity must become a leadership habit.

That means:

• Setting expectations that are specific and shared.

• Giving feedback that is timely and constructive.

• Communicating decisions openly, even when they’re difficult.

• Having the courage to start the hard conversations early.

  
  

When clarity becomes the norm, trust follows - and trust is the foundation of every high-performing culture.

 The Takeaway

“To be clear is to be kind” isn’t just a quote from a book; it’s a leadership principle.

It challenges us to replace comfort with courage and niceness with honesty. Because the true act of kindness in leadership isn’t in avoiding discomfort - it’s in giving people the clarity they need to succeed.

Let’s stop mistaking niceness for clarity.

Let’s be clear - because that’s where real kindness, growth, and leadership live.